I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
