I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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