A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
