If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
