things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
