Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
