Are we in a gay sports bar?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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