you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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