windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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