There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
