The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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