actually, I'm a sock model
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
