My Higher Power is John Stamos
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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