Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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