I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize