Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
