Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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