man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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