Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize