Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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