Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize