You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
