he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
