u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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