return my video game
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
