What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
