did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
