Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
