just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
