Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
