I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
