Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
