bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
