You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
