Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
