i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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