I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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