btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do herpes really smell.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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