Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
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YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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