Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize