i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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