He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
