Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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