apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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