Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
