Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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