I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
