I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
