Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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