man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
