When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
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There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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