my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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