She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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