dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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