the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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