i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
