we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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