College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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