there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
