i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
