I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize