Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we made out on top of his cat.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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